A HAPPY HOLIDAY STORY

HOLIDAY GREETINGS!

Photo by Barbara Ettinger

from Ray and Merrilee

A HAPPY  HOLIDAY STORY

Every holiday season triggers memories of past holidays and since there's been 74 of them in my life, I have forgotten many more than I can remember.  However, there are a few that remain strongly etched in my mind.

Years ago, during my career as a school teacher, I learned  a valuable lesson that has forever impacted my life.  One of my students, Latonya, was the catalyst.

LATONYA

A SPECIAL EDUCATION SUCCESS STORY

 

Wabasso School, Wabasso, Florida

Christmas 1997

When I became Latonya's classroom teacher at the Wabasso School, she spent most of her school day confined in a "geri-chair," an enlarged high chair.

Geri-chair

Whenever she was released into the classroom, she had to be watched and kept away from her classmates.  Everyone in her proximity was in danger of experiencing her "death grip,"as she grabbed an arm, mostly the forearm, resulting in intense pain and ugly bruises.  Smaller classmates would be grabbed by their hair and yanked to the floor.

Welcome to a classroom labeled PMH (Profoundly Mentally Handicapped).  Although the students ranged in age from 8 to 18, their intellectual ages were 2 years or younger.  They lacked coherent speech and most required diapering.  

Most manifested visual irregularities and Latonya was the most visually impaired.  She was incapable of establishing eye contact, so communication was limited to voice and touch.  She was 13 years old when I became her teacher.  

Since these students will need caretakers throughout their lives, my chief educational goal was to eliminate or modify harmful and troublesome behaviors and to reinforce and enhance their pleasing and enjoyable qualities.  Latonya presented a major challenge!  

Latonya always appeared lonely and unhappy.  Her social interactions consisted of grabbing and hurting anyone venturing near her.  I chose to interpret her behavior as a reaching out for human contact.

I observed that the only times Latonya showed any indication of happiness was when music was being played.  She would smile and laugh as she beat out perfect rhythms on the tray of her geri-chair. If there was no music playing, she would often entertain herself by beating out a recognizable rhythm of 12 123, which I subsequently realized to be the beat of a children's song, "BI- NGO."

My strategy was to join her in her joy of music. Careful to avoid her "death grips", I began entering her space and joining her with clapping and vocalizing as she beat out her rhythms.  

Inevitably, she would score with a painful grab and squeeze, and I began my consistent response of calmly loosening the grip and taking her hand to pat my arm as I softly repeated, "be nice, Latonya, be gentle, always be gentle".

Because of her visual impairment and danger to others, I usually walked with Latonya to the playground most days and stayed close so I could intercept her attacks on classmates.  Consequently, I was often the recipient of her "death grips", and there were days when my forearm would appear beet red from repeated attacks.

After days and months of gently encouraging soft pats instead of grabbing and squeezing, the pinching gradually diminished and was replaced by gentle arm pats that provided Latonya with the positive social interaction she had been craving. 

Protective confinement in the geri-chair was no longer necessary, and she freely and safely roamed the classroom.

Whenever we played music, Latonya would often laugh and dance.  I provided her with a drum so she could beat out her perfect rhythms. 

She no longer appeared unhappy.  She thrived on positive social interaction and became the class's "social butterfly."  Whenever someone entered the classroom, she  would greet and welcome them with a smile, gentle pats and even kisses on their hands. 

*                       *                     *                          *                    *

At the school's Christmas dance, I was overcome with amazement and joy as I observed Latonya working the crowd and earning an A plus in social graces. 

Holding a cup of ice water in one hand, she moved to the music and flitted around the school auditorium, pausing to gently pat arms and kiss hands.  Like a butterfly providing beauty and joy to others, Latonya had come a long ways in her metamorphosis from that lonely, dangerous teenager confined in giant high chair.

    

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I believe that education is best when both  teacher and student learn from their interaction.  I learned some mighty lessons in my teaching experience with the Profoundly Mentally Handicapped. 

I quickly learned that if you must feel sorry for someone whose intellectual development stops at 2 years, sympathize for the parents, not the child.
 

My PMH students naturally lived within each moment of their lives.  They did not experience remorse or guilt about the past or worry about the future. 

 

Every moment in their lives was fresh and their capacity for joy was always pure, spontaneous and genuine.

They have inspired me, and now Merrilee, to strive to live more in the present rather than lamenting about yesterdays and stressing about tomorrows.

Yesterday is history 

tomorrow is a mystery 

today is a gift  

That's why it's called the "present." 

Unknown

HOLIDAY HUMOR FROM MERRILEE 

Merrilee was waiting in line at our local bank when several people entered the lobby.  They obviously knew each other and had just come from a chess tournament as they were arguing and bragging about who executed the best chess moves.  Since Merrilee was in a holiday spirit, she described the incident as "chess nuts boasting in an open foyer".

    

(feel free to groan) 

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today.  It's already tomorrow in Australia.

                                                 Charles Schultz

Laughter is indeed a great medicine.  Research shows that people who laugh a lot will live longer and happier.

Photo by Barbara Ettinger

We hope your holidays are Mer-Ray!!